Having a random hookup so left but love u
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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