What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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