Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
babies were throwing up all over the place
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And then he peed in my hair
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
