I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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