In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
