Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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