I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
