I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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