Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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