so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
