He kissed a someone with a penis
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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