Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
