btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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