I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
