I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
