Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
