It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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