Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
there is glitter all over my balls
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
