Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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