Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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