it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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