This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
