I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
