After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
