Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
