And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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