He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize