No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the liver wants what the liver wants
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
