Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
