Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
