I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
