I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
