you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
