I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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