whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize