no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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