I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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