my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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