I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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