I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
