Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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