No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
