I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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