I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
