youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You're like the curious george of whores
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my liver is dry heaving
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
