ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
