Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
