Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
