I'm jealous of your bromance
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
