I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
