I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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