No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
