The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
