I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
