i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
