carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
