yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
